Awakening to Inner Bliss and the Power of Radical Self-Acceptance! With Veronica Krestow

Veronica Krestow 0:00

This like ecstatic bliss rose up, and I was like, Oh my God. This feels so good. This is all I want, this love, this connection, this is it. And that's when I heard the voice in the room that snapped me out of the dream. And I heard, if you could feel like this forever, would you marry me? And this wasn't a person. It was like the Christ, Christ consciousness. It was this masculine, divine, masculine in me, inside of me.

Jannecke Øinæs 0:38

Hello, Veronica, a warm welcome back to the show.

Veronica Krestow 0:43

It's so good to be here. It was so so good. Thank you for having me here.

Jannecke Øinæs 0:48

I can't wait for our conversation today. You have been on my show before. You are one of my master class teachers in my own membership, where you teach about how to command our frequency. You're also a powerful, transformational coach. You're an author of the diamond process. You've been on the spiritual path for a long, long time, and I wanted to have you back to have a deep dive into your mystical experiences and also how you've handled darkness. Because sometimes, as a spiritual teacher, I can notice that they feel like there are a lot of expectations around them, and they're just, you know, people, and we are having this human this human experience for a reason. So I know that you have a story of feeling that you live this perfect life and doing all the right things, but it just didn't feel right inside. Would you like to start there and share that story

Veronica Krestow 1:49

For sure. This was many years ago. I was, you know, I was checking all the boxes like many of us do who are ambitious and have a vision and want to live this perfect or great life, and I reached what felt like the pinnacle at a very young age. I was 25 and I was with this incredibly, just beautiful man. We were traveling the world on private planes with incredible going to incredible places, having amazing experiences. I was really growing in my spiritual path. Even I had this amazing community around me. I had the yoga body all the you know, I was just radiating love and light healthy in my body. And I was even starting my work in the world, like my deeper work. I had this burgeoning career, but everything that was so beautiful on the outside really was shameful to me. I felt really ashamed because inside I was depressed, I was anxious, I was romanticizing suicide, and I could not figure out, you know, it used to come out in this way of like blame, or I thought it was my partner's fault, and all this anger would come out until I realized that I was the common denominator in my life, and that the problem was me. And so I left Los Angeles. I left the whole life I had built and created behind a few years later, six years later, actually, in 2009 and I moved to the redwood forest, and I went deep, deep, deep into facing myself and my darkness and my feelings. That's a key word. I didn't know what to do as a highly sensitive I didn't even have that language at the time as an empath. I just felt a lot and I didn't I just wanted to stop feeling bad. And so what I did is I used the tools I had learned in spiritual psychology, masters and everything I had been studying, and I started to pour it into myself, and I awakened to this deep, deep level of radical self acceptance, of instead of, you know, fighting myself and hating myself for my emotional storms, I actually started to discover nature through watching all the storms in nature, from hail to lightning to blue skies to rain again to suddenly the mist coming in. If you've ever been to the redwood forest, it's miraculous, and I would sit there in awe, alone, living in a house in the woods, and I was like, this is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. And it felt safe. It felt like I was resonate, like my emotion, my constant fluctuations, changing emotionally inside, were being reflected outside, but they were beautiful. They weren't something to fight against. And that was when my awakening started, because I started to ask this question, if it's beautiful in nature to have all of these unpredictable storms and weather patterns, why is it so ugly in Me? You? And I started to sit with the redwoods, sit with the trees, and I would go out there as myself, no longer masking with, you know, makeup and putting myself together and trying to play perfect. And instead, I would sit in the trees and in the forest with this really, really deep sense of this is me. And I felt so loved. I felt so mothered for the first time in my life, and held and so that connection with nature that opened taught me how to mother myself and how to embody radical self acceptance. So I started to really every day more and more the anxiety or the joy or the fear or the anger, whatever was coming up, it's like it started to soften, because I began waking up to who I am beyond all the fluctuations. And that's when I discovered the diamond self inside the I Am, presence that was like the glint of light that began to wrap itself and grow and expand and take over my life.

Jannecke Øinæs 6:07

Wow. Very fascinating. And I love that you're so open hearted and so open about your experiences, because I think a lot of people are feeling this fluctuation of emotions, and it's so beautiful to to look at nature and to learn from nature, because we are part of Gaia, and to not judge it, because we so often judge all our emotions. Now, could you share what really made you sure that there was more to this life, that, because many times we have the belief that there is more, and we can have some, I don't know, some sensations, but have you had like, an experience that you really understand, that you know there is divinity, there is a life going on on The other side that this is not it like, was there a moment where you just knew?

Veronica Krestow 7:05

I love this question, like my whole body is like, tingling. Yeah, it's so in the woods. At that time, I started reading this book that a friend gave me called I Am That by Nisargadatta Maharaj, and it's a non duality book. And for whatever reason, it just started to open. It's was like sending me into these really deep states of presence where my mind would fall silent, and it was a mystery, like I would touch into these, this place inside that was so rich and so vast and so deep, and it was such an like expansive experience, rather than this, my myopic like this tiny, painful Me, me, me, Veronica person thing, and it was like every page I was just drinking in his words, and that sent me on a path into presence. Because I had, I had done all the things like I had tried everything. I had gotten even my yoga teacher certification in India. I had gotten my master's in spiritual psychology. I'd done inner child classes. I'd done all these things, but what was missing was presence, awakening into the present moment. And so I started sitting with Leonard Jacobson. I don't think you've had him on your channel, but I highly recommend him. He is like, he's amazing. So he has been my spiritual teacher for a long time, and he opened the doorway for me into the present moment to really drop out of thinking and expand into the truth of who I am. And I remember I would just sit in his retreats and workshops and fall into such a deep state of presence that that's when this happens. Often. I can't predict when it's going to happen, but the whole room just started dissolving into light, you know? And I was just in such a relaxed state, and I would dissolve the room. Everything dissolved. And there was just, I don't I don't even have have words, but it just was perfect peace, like radiant at the same time. And this, this touch in with this mystical sight. It's like seeing not from a person, but from just emptiness, began to change me in that I realized what I had been seeking out there was nothing in comparison to who I really am, beyond this costume, You know, beyond this temporary thing that I'm wearing called Veronica. And as time went on, you know, I was had a, you know, go doing my thing in the world. I was struggling financially because I was starting my life brand new. I was starting over, building a business. I was in a new relationship, and it was a very painful time in my. Life, yet my spiritual life, this was once I left the redwoods, moved back to Los Angeles, was in a new relationship. My spiritual life was so rich, but my my life in the world, even though it was purposeful, I was now helping people. I had written my first book, The diamond process. It felt amazing all of that impact and the spiritual connection I had have inside, but my life was really challenged. And I don't know why this is coming up to share as I Gulp, because I'm like, am I going to say this? But because these are things I don't typically share. But Jason, my partner, and I were having, like, major struggle and challenge. I was not feeling safe in my life, financially, I was just freaking out on many levels. I just had this big spiritual realization, but I was trying to function in the world, and it wasn't going very well. And I just remember we had hit a breaking point, and it was, like, years, a few years into our relationship, and it was like, I think this is going to collapse, like, so I left to go to the redwood forest, because that's where I go for a couple weeks to do a house sit for somebody. And while I was there, I was in a lot of pain. And I mean deep pain, like I was waking up at three, four in the morning, and I was shake. I would wake up in a panic, like out of nowhere, shaking, shaking, shaking, and my anxiety OOF was so big that it was swallowing me, and I felt like I just wanted to die, because it was so big and it was so consuming, and it felt so impossible to create a life. It could bring me to tears. It just felt like I didn't belong here, like I couldn't create a life on this planet. I didn't know how I was failing financially. I was failing in my relationship, I was trying, but yet I knew who I am. I know who I am inside. So it was very confusing. And so I was in hindsight, I realized part of me, my ego, I think, was freaking out that I was having these big mystical experiences and putting more value on that rather than Veronica this story of me, however, it didn't like ameliorate the pain that I was having this deep spiritual awakening. It actually felt almost like it was making it worse one night, and I felt like, okay, we're about to break up. And now what like now I have no foundation, no relationship. My finances are a mess, like it was very painful. This was like, around 2012 and I remember going to, I was in Mendocino, and I was so I felt like, anemic. I was trying to do the right thing, being vegetarian and all of that, and I needed red meat, like I could feel in my body. I was desperate for iron or red meat, so I had a burger, which I never, ever, ever, ever did. I had a glass of wine, like I was, like, I'm gonna actually enjoy this day. And I did all the wrong things. I even was getting, like, super sensual and like I was I just had this day that was bad. It was like, not what I learned on my spiritual path. It was like, quote, unquote bad. What I believe to be wrong. Drinking is not spiritual. Sexuality is not spiritual. Eating meat, definitely not spiritual. Ahimsa, non violence, you can't do that. Well, I did all the wrong things. And I actually was, like, had a moment of joy that day. And when I came home in the house, I was house sitting, there was this CD. There was like, this Richard Rohr, who I knew nothing about CD, like a guided audio and something about the title. I don't remember the title caught me, and I was like, I'm gonna listen to this. And so I listened to it, and there was something about his voice. The resonance was so it just like vibrated through me, and I was going into that deep state again, that deep state, and the room turned into mist, you know, and everything was dissolving. And that profound peace, that sparkling peace, came in and I fell asleep. And I fell asleep, literally fell asleep. Had a dream, and in the dream, my partner, Jason, and I were just fighting, fighting, fighting in the dream, and we were, I was trying to get on a Skype call, and we were in the same room, and he had a coaching session, and we could it was just so much chaos in the room, and I didn't have any space or privacy, and we were just fighting, and it was horrible moment, and everything we said to each other was like missing each other. It wasn't landing. We couldn't hear each other. This is all in the dream. It was like this painful dream, and we realized in the dream we're done, like this relationship is over, and we had this sadness in the dream, and I remember looking at each other, and we moved towards each other to say goodbye, and we hug each other in the dream as we're hugging this is what I've never shared before, and for whatever reason, it's coming up. Mm. Yes, I heard a voice in the room. This wasn't a dream. This woke me up out of the dream. And it was the most gorgeous masculine voice, actually, which I knew to be the Christ. Okay, it was Christ consciousness, the Christ. I'm not religious in any way. And yet this voice says, If you because, as I'm hugging Jason in the dream, this incredible bliss starts rising up, like all the pain fell away. It just fell away. And I mean incredible bliss, like ecstatic bliss rose up. And I was like, Oh my God, this feels so good, and the connection felt so good. And it was like, This is all I want, this love, this connection, this is it. And that's when I heard the voice in the room that snapped me out of the dream. And I heard, if you could feel like this forever, would you marry me? And this wasn't a person. This wasn't it was it was what I understand now, and I knew it intuitively then. It was like the Christ, Christ consciousness, which was not a person. It was this masculine, divine, masculine in me, inside of me, that was showing me you have been looking outside for love. You have been looking outside for what you are.

And I immediately said, Yes, and it was a, it was like a it was a marriage between me and the present moment, that the present moment is the doorway to everything, to who I am, to God, to source, to loving intelligence, to what you were just asking about. How do you know that there's something beyond this life, beyond what we see with the eyes? And I'll never forget wake it was like 430 in the morning. It was so early, and I suddenly had such ecstatic bliss. I The word that was there was, remember who you are. Remember who you are. This is you. It's not out there. It's not out there. And it was pouring rain outside. I run outside in the Redwood Forest, and I'm just like, it's me. It's been me. It's been me all along. And I'm like, dancing alone, singing in the dark, in the rain, I'm like, Oh my God, and I'm laughing, like hysterically laughing, because I'm like, I just at the confusion of thinking the projection out there is what I was seeking, when actually that's just a reflection of what's inside. And I'll never forget taking a stone and with gold writing on one side, writing beloved, because I had just married the beloved within me. And on the other side I wrote, remember. And actually it wasn't 2012 because I remember the exact date. It was February 7, 2014 because I remember thinking, that's weird. Two times seven equals 14. And it says two 714, remember? And on the other side, beloved, and I went back home to Los Angeles, it could bring me to tears, because my whole it was like a light switch in my life changed with that mystical experience. And I actually bought a ring for myself, and like married, had this like little ceremony of marrying the beloved, within marrying really the present moment, that the present moment is my North Star now. And interestingly enough, my relationship with Jason from that point, transformed into the most beautiful relationship, and then we actually got married. So that was just more proof I was no longer needing him to fill that void inside, I fell into the void and realized it's where everything I wanted is, and that is what changes the outside. And it's funny, I thought I'd feel very vulnerable sharing this, which I don't, but I've never shared this, and maybe it lands for somebody. But I know for 100% to be true, that we are connected to something so much bigger, more beautiful, infinite, deeply loving and very secure, totally stable, 100% certain during these uncertain times and beyond, and we always have access to it. We have access to it now, always now, always, always now.

Jannecke Øinæs 19:28

Wow. Thank you so much for sharing this, for hearing this. You know that is part of why I love hearing mystical experiences, and I feel it's important to share because there is so much wisdom in it. So when you're sharing it, I'm learning something about the divine that can help me, right? I mean, there was a deep teaching there. And even though I haven't experienced that myself, it resonates, you know? And. I know that that's the truth for me as well and everybody else, that the love is within us, and it Yeah, so beautiful. And the other interesting part was that, and I love that you share that about the wine, you know, maybe it could have been a cigarette, whatever it is, the things we feel we're not allowed to do, and then it happens. And I feel like that is also the universe's humor, like when you do that, then you'll get the message, because we have so many rules about how to do this and and I feel like spirituality has really evolved, you know, from this guru mentality, from needing to meditate in lotus position, sitting straight with your back, you know, all these rules. And I think, yeah, do you think I want to ask you that spirituality is really different now, and that that is also evolving like spiritual teachings?

Veronica Krestow 20:58

Yeah, I just wrote in my journal yesterday, something like conformity is like an F you to God, because when instead of conforming to some spiritualized idea or belief structure, that seems right, because all the right people are saying, This is what you have to do, and this is what The books are telling you and everything, but you're inside or your body, like this thing, that the Creator created this body, which is a direct portal into the greatest level of devotion. If we go against ourselves because we're trying to do the right thing, it's actually, it's actually the furthest thing from spirituality, because being spiritual is being authentic. It's like a when I look at a flower, I had some of my deepest mystical experiences just sitting in present, looking at a blade of grass or a flower, or the light streaking through a tree as I'm sitting and that flower isn't like, oh my god, I'm too yellow, or I'm too this, or, like, I should be stronger, like a tree, like, let me, like, try to be something else. Or, oh God, who am I to receive all this water? How unspiritual to take so much like, let me go into a drought so that others, you know, don't judge me as greedy or whatever. That doesn't happen in nature. It just happens in our humanness. And I don't want to get into like the origins of that, or why it's the way it is, but I think that the deepest level of spirituality is receiving what you need to flourish and releasing the constructs, the mental constructs that say you have to be good, you know, one of my spiritual teachers, and I'll dive into that a little more deeply, we're already innately good. So when I say that, I don't mean be a jerk or like be, you know, do horrible things, what I mean is every most people and watching this right now, we're just innately good. We're drawn to deep thinking and spiritual connection and creating something beautiful in the world and helping others, serving others, like the goodness is here, like it's here. It's not something we have to add to ourselves. But what one of my guides said to me once when I was really struggling with good Girling and trying to play perfect and, you know, all these trying to be putting so much emphasis on the mask. He said, Veronica, you're not here to be good. I was like, what? Because you're not here to be good, you're here to be real. That is the meaning of your life. And I was like, you know, like, everything just started popping. I was like, What do you mean? I'm not here to be good. Like I had to really, it felt like a shattering of my false North Star. And he goes, you already are good. That's what you are. But what who is the real Veronica? Who is the real Veronica? And what I've discovered are many things. I'm a very sensual person. I love luxury. I deeply enjoy delicious foods. I love being in a body. I love being emotional and human and a little crazy. I i am not this like, you know, male Yogi in a cave, which I tried so hard to be for so many years, because my mom had a lot of emotional instability, went homeless, and my dad was like the perfect father, and so zen and so stable, and so I tried to emulate his perfection. And it's could like, bring me to tears, because that's such a painful thing, not just for us, but for the source that created us. Because it's, it's like not delivering upon what we're here to deliver upon, which is to be real, to be fully ourselves. And we know inside, because it makes us feel expansive. We feel so alive and so good. And I don't mean the kind of alive that's like, I just had 16 cocktails. I feel amazing, and then you feel horrible the next day. Not that. I mean, wow, like I'm deeply, deeply called to, you know, connect with my body and to, you know, start to explore these deep mystical experiences, or I really want to eat this thing. It feels so delicious and nourishing to my system, to this particular property or constitution I have, like, these are the things to start basing our spiritual path based on authenticity and alignment, rather than dictation from somebody who claims to have a direct line to God. What I discovered in that moment is that we have the direct line to God, if I'm not mistaken. Yeshua, the Christ actually said, God is within you. The power is within you, right? So it sounds basic or simple, but it so can be easy to forget that when there's so many authorities out there, and we've been programmed from the moment we were born to believe that the power is outside everything in our society is literally designed to make to migrate us from knowing our immensity, being our immensity, to fear and getting permission from somebody out there to say you're valid, or you're worthy, or you know you deserve to be here. So how do we actually awaken to that? That like it's almost like opening the door, getting that skeleton key that unlocks the door to who we actually are. For me, it happened in a moment of doing all the wrong things. Like it happened just following that, and mostly out of really big pain. And I just want to say to anyone who's having a really painful experience right now, like I was waking up in the middle of the night. I'm a deep sleeper, so that was, like, extremely disorienting to be waking up at night panicked, like, Oh my God. Like it was, like, just systemic, like it was my whole being was like, I don't belong here. One of the like, I just felt like I was unraveling. And I just want to say that was my limited identity unraveling. And so if you are earnest with your path, and you immerse yourself in like for me, it was I am that in certain books that did help me and continue to help me, seep in the truth of who I am, surround myself with certain people only let into my mind those things that are nourishing to my heart, body and soul. That if you're earnest with your path, and you're choosing freedom, spiritual liberation, wholeness, prosperity, being an instrument of grace, being an instrument of truth, and you're continuing to feed that, whether it's meditation, yoga, whatever your practices are, ecstatic dance, sitting with your mentor coach, being in beautiful memberships like Yannick membership wisdom from North these things are a way of communicating that I mean business like I am here to be whole, and the soul's goal is nothing but to be whole. The soul's goal is wholeness. So in those little actions of I honor myself, I trust myself, I take these actions that support my awakening and what feels aligned holy and true for me, something happens beyond the pain. The pain is a doorway into this liberation that we came here for so I just want to say that to anyone who's suffering right now, I know it's easier said than actually moving through it. And I look back and I'm like, God, if I hadn't gone through that time, if I had given up, which I really wanted to, to be honest, I would have missed out on my life like I live. I just moved to a new country. I swim at like many days a week. I am absolutely in love with my life. I love my business. I love serving the clients I serve. I absolutely love my body, my life, my relationships, my health, where I live, the freedom I've created. So spirituality isn't just these deep states, it's also weaving that in, threading it through our human experience. And that means the mess, because combined with this gorgeous experience, it's also been a great challenge, moving to another country, and all the decisions and like, like, you know, just all the challenges, but the juiciness of that girl I was in the Redwoods finally waking up to, oh my god, I'm anxious, I'm confident, I'm insecure, I'm joyful, I'm peaceful, I'm all of it, all of that. Humanness, being present with it all is how we thread the spiritual path into our humanity, and then the human experience sort of takes care of itself, if that makes sense, once we're married to who we really are.

Jannecke Øinæs 30:15

Hi there. Since you have been watching this video for quite some time now, I assume that you like it, and maybe you've been watching some of my other videos, and if you appreciate them as well and my show, please go and hit the subscribe button that really helps us to reach out with the videos. We put so much love and work into what we're doing to help to raise that collective consciousness. So be a co creator. Subscribe to my channel. Thank you so much, and may you shine the light that you are. Wow, that was profound. Thank you so much for sharing that so liberating, and it's so important to address. And I will go so far to say, in many ways, we have enjoyed too. We have been programmed. We need to unlearn a lot of what we have learned, to really come back to ourselves and experience ourselves in a totally new way, to really tap into our divinity. And that's why I'm so passionate about doing this. And I also wanted to mention, I think for especially for women, we've also put our value on whether a man, and I bet that it's the same for men to some degree, also what a man thinks about us. You know, are we desirable? And also that is like way back in our culture, or way back in the in the ages before us, we were dependent on a man also. So that is probably way back in our subconsciousness that, oh no, if a man does not desire me, how can I survive even so that's such a powerful mystical experience you've had. Back to that Christ Consciousness telling you you could marry yourself. And I also assume that the fact for men as well, that they have the femininity inside, and that they can also find that love inside. And I wanted to jump over to Christ consciousness, because that is something I don't quite know what is. And to me, when we say Christ, I think about Christianity, but it feels like Christ consciousness is more spiritual, like it's not connected to religion, that it's a universal energy. So you could be Indian and experience Christ consciousness. How do you look at what Christ Consciousness really is?

Veronica Krestow 32:40

I feel more than can verbalize, if that makes sense, and if I were to explain Christ consciousness from I don't know anything. So I just want to be clear about that I know nothing other than what feels like home in my body and when I feel when I am connected to all that is, and Christ consciousness is like this flavor of love while dissolving into the present moment, is the only way I can describe it. I don't have a lot of beliefs around it, or any beliefs around it, other than I feel like there's this loving intelligence, this energy that's moving through all of us. If you think about your grandmother or a baby or a child, or somebody who just knows how to love and they love you with such profound with such totality, like they just like, you know, every like, I remember my grandmother the way she would look at me, and she was, she didn't know it, like she, she's was Jewish, like, there's no way that she would ever, in 1000 years, think of of like Christ consciousness. But that was Christ consciousness, like, I could be singing the most god awful, like a song with the most god awful voice. And she was just looking at me with God, you are just so beautiful, you know, you're so talented, you're so miraculous. So it's more of that. It's,

Jannecke Øinæs 34:10

How did you know that it was Christ consciousness and not something else? Because on my show, I have so many channelers who channels all these different beings. There's so many intelligent beings. And I would say that Christ Consciousness is not a being. It's not maybe Jesus, it is more of a collective consciousness. But still, like, did you just know what is a what was it an intuition that it was,

Veronica Krestow 34:34

It was an instant knowing. It just was, like heart. I I mean, I have no idea how I know and I don't. I could care less if anyone believes like what I'm saying, because it's just a knowing in my heart of this truth that I have no education around I have no spiritual like book knowledge around. And I had never had any experience like that in the past or any insight into it. It was just the cadence, like the writ, the frequency of the voice. And this is weird, because what I'm saying is it's not a person. So how could there have been a voice? I don't know that either. I don't know why there was a voice, but it was a very specific masculine voice that immediately in my heart registered as Christ consciousness. And it's like not a man or an individual, it's a you know, so I don't even know how to wrap words around it, because it can't be cloaked. It's like immense light and profound love, and it like, if it was the Buddha, for example, I would know it's not that. It's just was an immediate knowing that this is Christ.

Jannecke Øinæs 35:50

But that's beautiful, because there's a part of you who do, who knows, and the human part does not know. And we don't really need to know, like we don't need always to categorize, but still, my mind really wants to jump over to, well, maybe something similar, but yet different. You created a beautiful video where you spoke about how to heal the impossible on your YouTube channel. And I think that was so powerful, because to me, you are a teacher who is a bit unique in the way that you share so much more of your own ups and downs, like a lot of teachers are sharing that teaching, but you're sharing through your experiences, which makes me feel so seen and at home, and I feel like we're similar, and I think it's such a deep way of teaching. And in that video, you spoke about, you know, what do we do when we try to heal something and it just seems like it cannot be healed, and you use your willpower, but then you had an epiphany. Do you know?

Veronica Krestow 36:59

I think I know the video. I definitely know the Epiphany, because it was such a Oh, so interesting. I don't know if do you hear drilling right now? A little bit? Yeah, yeah. So they're doing work, but this is a perfect example of the things we don't want, because they're renovating and and these. But I'll get to the teaching in a moment. But that life generates what it generates, and this is a perfect example of just welcoming what is here rather than fighting it. Okay, so I fought with this for so long in my life. I fought with this. I Everything I did was out of a drive. I can do it myself. I'm powerful. I'm driven. I can handle it. I'm an island. I am isolated. You know, it's like this very limited way. And I thought that was powerful. I thought that was noble. And what I realized at some point was that no matter how hard I put my will towards sitting with, I was applying my own work, okay? Like literally sitting with these painful or these facets of myself and learning how to integrate and embrace them through the diamond process. And I reached a point where there was one thing that just would not integrate, and it was like the same pain over and over and over again. And finally, I woke up to this discovery and realized that, Oh, my God, through one of the teachers I sit with, he said, Sweetheart, there's will power, there's will and there's grace. How often are you calling upon grace to release and help you, to lift what is not working in your life, to free you from this. And like, Grace. What do you mean? Call upon grace like, it's like an angel going to fall from the sky and heal this for me, like, there's a very practical side of me that's like, that doesn't make sense. But I realized I was cornered because my willpower only got me so far, and that if a bird needs to fly, it needs both wings, it needs Will and Grace. If it doesn't have one of the wings, then the bird just spins. It will never take off. So I thought to myself, Okay, so what does that mean? Grace? Like, how do I call upon grace? And it's like you literally just call upon grace, like whether you take your burdens and set them at a tree, or you talk to source loving intelligence or that beautiful light that's inside to set whatever beats our hearts and grows our hair, or maybe it's the angelic realm, or whatever you connect with. How often are we saying, Please, I cast this burden onto you so that I may move forward in wholeness and peace and plenitude. So I started turning over to Grace whatever the block was, seen or unseen. Mooji, the teacher, has a really beautiful way of saying this. He says, Well, I don't know if you hear the noise, but sorry about that if you do is asking. Source God loving intelligence, to delete the codes of fear in my body, in my system, delete all seeds of lack of fear of he called, you know, says, personhood, you know, the ego. I have a different opinion about the ego. But so anyway, I started applying the the grace side of things, turning things over to grace. And it was just like, Oh my God. And not once, because I tried once twice, nothing was happening. And I'm like, this doesn't work. Back to my willpower. Like, notice I'm doing this, because that's what it feels like when you're fighting life and trying to do it all yourself, which are synonymous. So I continued, and Jason, my partner, was like, no you call upon grace every day of your life. Turn over the fear, the judgments. Every day before bed is a great time. I release all the judgments, all the fears that are in my mind that I have placed on myself and others, known or unknown. Please take these from me. I release them. I forgive myself for them, I don't even need to know what they are. And over time, that just started to bring the balance and this awakening, this beautiful, beautiful awakening into that there's something holding us all the time, and it loves us so profoundly and deeply, and I don't understand it, and I don't have science behind it, and I can't show it to you, but I only know that when we're earnest and we actually take The moment to give permission to this beautiful energy to help us, that grace sets in, but it does require having the trust and the courage and the perseverance to ask, and you can receive right Ask and you shall receive. Some people watching are really good at the Grace part, but they don't take action. They don't do the shadow work or the you know, apply the will, their will to being present with their feelings, their emotions, their bodies healing their nervous systems, which is a lot of the work I do to help people get visible empaths share their gifts with the world. So it's a balance between both Will and Grace for the bird to fly to really be free.

Jannecke Øinæs 42:26

I love that. I love that.

Veronica Krestow 42:28

I don't know if that's the video you watched. It might have been something else. I don't know.

Jannecke Øinæs 42:33

I think it was the video. Yes, it made such an impression on me, because I just identified with it a lot, and I've been very good at the will part myself and not so good at the surrendering part. And so we could feel into all of us. Where am I do? I need to, you know, do more of the grace and letting go and surrender or the will part. Now. Where do you find the courage to be so raw and so honest on your YouTube channel and your in your newsletters and in this interview,

Veronica Krestow 43:07

Hands give me the courage, because these hands are real, and they hold me like a mother holds a child. And a lot of this work can seem very esoteric, but there's like a hands on approach, like no matter what I do, no matter what happens in a day, I always come home to myself, because, in a way, I'm married to myself. And I don't mean myself as in Veronica. I mean self, like the deep self. And so I would say the courage comes from lack of identification with this person, and absolutely, when I'm in my story, things are hard and they hurt and there's sadness and there's pain and discomfort. But so long as I'm I'm remembering who I am every day. It doesn't mean, you know, being in the state all the time, it just means morning and night, book ending my day, remembering who I am a stability is developed over time, and I give people permission to judge me. It's like, here, like all everyone watching right now has a different opinion that they like me. They don't like me. They resonate. They don't resonate. They're like, Oh, she's what she's saying is true. Oh, my God, she has no idea what she's talking about. Like everyone, depending on their projection, is going to determine how they perceive me. And once I got that, like, really got it, it was like, Oh, I don't have to try to convince you anymore, because you're going to have your opinions anyway. And I give you permission. I give you full permission to judge me, because what you feel about me has nothing to do with me. It's a statement about you. So if you feel love for me, it's because you're a deeply loving person. You're experiencing love right now. And I'd say the courage also comes from the intention to help empaths, to fortify their field and to bring the work they're here to do in the world. To really tap in to what their unique gifts are, and to share them from the overflow of incredibly vibrant, alive, healthy, delicious energy, because I know together, we're actually creating a new world. You know, our we're our world is changing rapidly. So my mission is to gather forces with as many empaths as possible, and help as many as possible to unpack the gold inside from a very healthy, grounded, centered state, and shine that light into the world. Because we're light bringers, and we came here during dark times, and it's time to bring the light. So if my story can help somebody, one person, to make peace with their darkness, I will sing my song every day of the week.

Jannecke Øinæs 45:49

Wow, you're so inspiring, Veronica, you're so full of light, and you're such an inspiration for me. Thank you so much for doing the work, showing up, daring to do so. And I think there was so much wisdom here in also how we can find the courage ourselves for the audience, because there are so many light workers watching this, I think everybody watching this are a light worker. I like that word light worker. It's not to say that we're special anything. It's just that we I think we've come down to this planet for a deeper reason. And when you're watching these shows, it's something that has been activated. You want to open up to something more. And that's my mission, too, to help people do that. You know, we have sort of similar missions, I feel like.

Veronica Krestow 46:33

Yes, yeah. And I want to say to the light workers, like, if that, if that word resonates for people, if you're going through a dark time. It's not here to break you. It's here to free you. It's literally the darkness is here to ground us, ground us in our bodies, so that we can shine in a way that nothing can obstruct the light. So it's not a punishment. It's just training ground to to to shine, to really shine, like, not conditionally, like, everything's great. I'm happy ding like, No, I feel like shabib today, and I'm okay with that, and there's still light shining through my eyes, you know, that kind of thing. So just a reminder,

Jannecke Øinæs 47:17

It's so important that you're saying that because we just did an interview before this, where you interviewed me, and we talked about this darkness, that we both experienced it, and you were saying exactly that, that when you have the capacity to be such a big light, you also know how to hold the darkness. So I love that perspective that is like a training ground. We could almost look at it like, okay, here, here it comes again. It's for a deeper reason. There's nothing wrong about it, because we so often tend to judge that immediately and also the outside. Like you who are like, I've heard that you who do so much spiritual stuff and have all these amazing conversations. Don't you know better? Why are you not you know a certain place all the time. Why do you did you attract this, and that?

Veronica Krestow 48:10

It is very limited. Like, yes, that's like, it's not real. That's not real. I've sat with so many master, not so many. I've sat with specifically two masters, like genuinely in an enlightened state of consciousness, meaning it doesn't flicker, it doesn't go out like they're they're in a Realized state, and they go through crap like and I was so, felt so blessed to be able to see them behind closed doors, because that that left, because I used to have that well, like you're enlightened, or you're like a light worker, even like you should be happy all the time and peaceful, like right now, we can all drop that baggage and just let ourselves be human and and like we were talking about some of those of us who carry the most light we know how we sit with the we're the most intimate with darkness. So when you see someone shining really bright, know that they have a deep relationship with darkness. You literally cannot have one without the other. It's we're in a world of duality. They just happen to know how to use it and befriend it so that they feel safe enough to shine the way they do.

Jannecke Øinæs 49:26

So beautiful. Thank you so much. Veronica, I have a couple of questions that I want to ask at the end, and you've talked a little bit about it, but I'll ask it anyway. What is self love to you?

Veronica Krestow 49:39

Oh, self love is a radical embrace that runs towards every bit of this messy thing called being human. And it's like self love is an opening of the basement door to all the parts. Ourselves that we have pushed down to try to fit in.

Jannecke Øinæs 50:05

And what is happiness? To you?

Veronica Krestow 50:08

Happiness is presence, like, like, purposeless joy. It's like there's no nothing triggering it. There's no reason I feel happy. It's just in the simplicity of the moment, feeling who I am and touching into who I am beneath the thinking, beneath the story. It's just who we are, and it usually comes forth the most for me when I'm still, when I'm in nature, when I'm present, when I'm not trying to be somebody, you know, when I'm not trying to get your approval or perform, which is a massive habit that I'm still breaking through. That's when the the joy really comes through, because it's like that joy of being. You know, just like a child is in the joy of being. And lately it's dancing to Def Leppard, which is what I used to listen to when I was, like, 1112, years old. And I've just been letting that little girl that I once was on roller skates out. And that is pure happiness to me. It's like remembering how I used to move and dance. And I was like, Why did I love that? Oh, of course, I love this. It makes my hips move. It like, it's just so raw and fun. And I had huge hair I still do. So I like, was, like, I related to the big hair bands. Like,

Jannecke Øinæs 51:38

You know, I love this question, because when people are tapping into their happiness, I feel it too, because there's a match, right, since I match with my joy inside. So I love that question. And okay, the biggest question, what is the deeper meaning of life? From your perspective,

Speaker 1 51:59

The deeper meaning of life is to face all of the fluctuations that are happening and run out of the attempts exhaust ourselves completely trying to fix life because it's and finally wake up to what is unchanging inside of ourselves. So the purpose of life is to dance with, all the changes, all the shifts, all the endless ups and downs in relationships, finances, health, vitality, levels of energy, places we live like everything's like a kaleidoscope. It's always changing. And to wake up, it's like that intentionally, because eventually there's only one option as I Gulp, I'm like, my ego's like, I hate this. My like, my deeper self is like, yeah, as Reverend Michael says, a bad day for the ego is a good day for the soul. And so it's to really awaken to the changeless state that witnesses it all and the Hallelujah, I'm home when this happens and when it's continuously reinforced.

Jannecke Øinæs 53:04

Beautiful. Veronica, this has been such a joy. And for people who want to learn more and dive deeper with you, how can they do so.

Speaker 1 53:13

You can go to Veronicakrestow.com I have some free gifts there. I have a frequency gift there, and I have also my YouTube channel, which is where I share I've been sharing for years there. Yeah, those are the two best places to find me. Oh, and I give audio gifts, like on Sundays to my newsletter. So if you sign up for one of the gifts on my website, people love the guided audio gifts I give on Sundays to like deepen in presence and I share some of what I'm navigating and usually clarity questions each week.

Jannecke Øinæs 53:52

Lovely. Thank you so much for coming to the show today and also being one of my masterclass teachers in my membership. And for you who want to check that out, you can go into wisdom from north.com/membership thank you so much, Veronica for shining your light and doing this amazing work.

Speaker 1 54:09

Thank you, Jannecke, thank you. Thank you. Thank you for what you are doing on our planet. Deeply from my heart,