There is a treasure to be found deep inside every relationship. A gift so big it feels like magic. It will bring joy, love and healing to everyone involved.
If you want to find this treasure you need to treat your relationship like a fragile plant. It needs to be taken care of. If you do it right, it will give you the sweetest fruits you ever have tasted. It will open doors into a place that your soul and heart has been longing for. It will show you the magic of true love.
For me, true love is to recognize when everyone involved is growing, getting in contact with deeper creativity, joy, passion, playfulness, clarity, compassion, when devotion becomes a natural part of life. Gratitude, love and grace is felt when you meet such a couple. It is shown when both partners give their deepest gifts to this world.
You can start this journey today. You can take the first steps into discovering the deepest gifts your relationship has to offer. It is a long road, it demands bravery and patience. But you can start today.
In all relationships someone always needs to go first.
Someone needs to be the brave one to ask the other out on a date, be the one that says I love you first.
What ever step that needs to be taken, someone always takes the lead.
Is it you that is going to unlock the divine potential of your relationship?
Let this article be the sign that it is time. Nothing will happen if you are constantly waiting for someone else to change or to take the initiative. The treasure will forever be unwrapped. You will never taste the fruit of your magic plant.
You can change so much in your relationship without even involving your partner. The first step is to stop focusing on your partner and put the focus on yourself and the relationship. We all have a beautiful gift to create love and beauty around us. So do you.
The expansion I am experiencing now from my relationship practice is something my heart has been longing for my whole life. We have created our relationship into a platform of spiritual growth, playfulness, creativity, passion, serenity, joy and abundance. It effects every area of our lives. I cannot with words describe the magic of this. It has to be experienced. I am sure, If I can do it, so can you. Love is not just for some. It is a gift for everyone. I tried so many things for so many years and nothing I did gave me a glimpse of the magic I now can taste. The key for me was when I realized that I first had build a loving relationship to myself. I had over focused on my partner. I wanted my partner to change. If he just did this, or that, but it did not work. I decided to stop blaming my partner, drop my resentment and change the recipe.
When I did that, magic started to happen. I started to walk into the field of love and after some time my partner slowly started following. It was like I became a magnet that attracted my partner into the magic field called love.
For every step your take towards love, love will take ten steps towards you
Love is a strong force. It will always win in the end. Walk with grace and dignity. For every step your take towards love, love will take ten steps towards you.
I have taken many steps on this journey, but these are some of the first steps I took;
1. Daily Self-nourishment
You heard it thousands of times; Love starts with you loving yourself. And self-love starts with self-nourishment.
If you say it don’t work, I know that you did not fully do it. You have to do it everyday, for at least one month to see any results. To build a relationship takes time, it is the same to build a loving healthy relationship with ourselves. Some years back, I was so focused on everyone around me, I had problems to even take 5 min per day for myself. In the beginning I did not know what to do… Now this is an important part of my day. To do something just for me. Something that nourishes my being. Something that makes me happy. That fills me up. It can be a walk in the forest, reading a book, take a long shower, putting on my favorite music and move my body, do a morning ritual before I leave bed or whatever I feel like in that moment.
We need to fill ourselves with energy and love first, otherwise we don’t have any to give. When we are full it is not even an effort. It just flows over to everyone around us like a full spring of water. This is why this should be on top of your “to do list”, Every day! Do it even the days you feel resistance. Gently lead yourself into love.
2. Express your needs.
It is an art to express your needs without blaming anyone around you. The first step is to get to know your needs. If you are like I use to be, over focused on the needs of others, then it is maybe hard for you to feel your own needs. Self-care will help you to come in contact with your own needs. That is why it is the first step.
Your needs are important. You have the right to express them. To help you come in contact with your needs, it can be helpful to ask yourself; What do I think, feel and need?
When you express your needs it is essential to focus on yourself. Example, “I got worried and sad when you did not call me yesterday like we had decided. I want to feel safe in our relationship and my needs are that we keep our promises when those are given. Does that feel okay for you?”
3. Show your appreciation
Find at least one thing everyday that you appreciate with your partner, and express it. See it as a gift, because it is. Don’t expect anything in return.
Words of appreciation shows that you don’t take your partner for granted, that you see the effort they make.
“Darling, I so appreciate that you made me breakfast this morning” or “Darling, I love the way you laugh.” Be creative and come up with at least one thing everyday.
4. Touch opens the hearts.
Oxytocin known as the love hormone that bind us together and makes us feel good. Every time you lovingly touch your partner it will make you both feel calmer and in deeper connection with each other.
We often do this a lot in the beginning of a relationship and forget it after some time. So lovingly touch your partner and do it often. Lightly stoke his hair or put your hand on her back when you pass her in the hallway.
We live in the time of Quick fixes. If you want Mc Donald’s kinde of love, go fast and quick. If you want to go for the real thing. Let it take time. Walk one step at the time.
Have patience with yourself and your partner. See it as a handcraft. Do it with compassion and grace. After a while you will be able to create art from your way to lead in love.
Let us walk together into the magic of life. Bea Dominc
Photo by N. on Unsplash
Bea is an international inspirational speaker and teacher. The tangible effects of her dedicated spiritual practice and deep devotion are a true inspiration for women and men around her. She supports people to take 100% responsibility for their own life and to find entry toward a deeper intimacy with themselves, their partner and life.
Bea and her husband Theodor teaches couples, from all around the world, the art-form of deep spiritual relationships. Their programs “Training for Love” and “Art of Intimacy” work as catalysts into discovering the deepest gift an intimate relationship has to offer.